


eternity's a curse (without you)

by kwonjis



Series: vices & virtues [3]
Category: NU'EST, Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Light Angst, M/M, Reincarnation, guardian angel!minhyun how could i pass up on this, it has a happy ending pls don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 09:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13949013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwonjis/pseuds/kwonjis
Summary: no, jonghyun was probably the crown prince or perhaps even the king himself. there had to be something special about kim jonghyun that made heaven choose him out of millions to join their angelic ranks.





	eternity's a curse (without you)

**Author's Note:**

> guess who’s back with another installment of this universe !! all the fics in this series so far have been very lighthearted and happy so this one is kind of on the other end of the spectrum (also clearly not another ongniel fic although i’ve got another ongniel one in the works ha ha ha)
> 
> pls excuse any historical inaccuracies in this story, i did my best with wikipedia rip

Songdo.

 

Minhyun walked through the market, invisible to human eyes and intangible to their touch. Although they couldn't see him or feel him, he transformed his angelic robes to mimic the ones he observed around him. As he walked, the only thought in his head was one name. Kim Jonghyun.

 

His assignment had led him here, to the kingdom of Goryeo. A 'permanent' assignment, according to his superior. This wasn't a phrase heard often among guardian angels. Assignments tended to last the lifespan of the human they had been assigned to guide and protect. Permanent assignments usually suggested that the human was most likely on the list of humans who were given the honour of assuming an angelic role after their time on Earth. A guardian angel assigned to these special cases would be in charge of training the human once he had assumed his angelic role. And training could last from a few decades to a few millennia.

 

But what was so special about this human? Minhyun pondered as he strolled by an old tea house. He observed the people inside sipping from tiny porcelain cups. Some spoke in hushed tones, glancing around furtively and occasionally shooting suspicious looks at whoever happened to catch their eye. Others laughed freely and talked carelessly, gold and silver adorning their hair and jewelled accessories practically dripping from their wrists.

 

Minhyun wondered what Jonghyun would be like. Was he part of that upper class? Did he also wear luxurious clothes and drink with beautiful women? Or maybe he was one of the commoners, the peasants, struggling to make ends meet and looking for a way to escape the life he hadn't chosen himself. No, Jonghyun was probably the Crown Prince, or perhaps even the king himself. There had to be something special about Kim Jonghyun that made heaven choose him out of millions to join their angelic ranks.

 

As he left the tea house, the distant sound of a crying child caught his attention. Minhyun walked quickly to find the source of distress, rounding a corner and slipping through an alley before finally finding the crying child.

 

She looked no older than three years old and she stood in the middle of the street in an old, slightly tattered dress and extremely worn out little shoes. Her face was pink from crying and she kept looking around, possibly looking for one of her parents or family members. Minhyun noticed that she was clutching a small, hole-ridden blanket in her hands.

 

Before he could step forward to make himself visible to the child, an older boy of about eight or nine years old came rushing over to her side, calling out her name. “Yuna! Yuna, there you are!” His voice was exhausted but Minhyun could hear the relief in his voice. He watched as the boy held the little girl tightly against him and saw her relax in his arms.

 

“I thought I told you to wait outside while I was getting Father’s medicine? Why did you run off like that?” The boy scolded lightly. Yuna fidgeted with the blanket in her hands.

 

“Sowwy,” She said, her lower lip trembling. The boy shook his head but smiled, picking her up before standing.

 

“Let’s go home, Father will wonder why we took so long.”

 

The moment the boy and Yuna began walking away, Minhyun felt a searing pain against his leg. He clenched his teeth as he shoved his hand into his pocket to yank out the burning envelope. This only meant one thing.

 

That boy was the human he had been assigned to.

 

Kim Jonghyun.

 

Minhyun decided to follow and observe Jonghyun for a while. At night, he watched over the boy’s home. It was a run down shack on the very outskirts of town, right near the forest. Minhyun used his powers to protect the place from possible thieves or even wolves that lurked in the greenery behind them. In the day, he followed Jonghyun as he ran errands all over the capital. From fetching medicine and other necessities for his family, to delivering orders for various shops that needed his assistance, Minhyun was with him every step of the way.

 

But the longer he observed the boy, the more he realised that there was nothing special enough about him that warranted his inevitable angelic transformation. Sure, Jonghyun was hardworking, kind, patient, always willing to help someone out even if it meant sacrificing something of his own. But other than that, Minhyun didn’t see any other extraordinary or even remarkable trait about him. Jonghyun’s chances of becoming, say, a war hero was as slim as Minhyun’s chances of spontaneously shedding his feathers. It just didn’t seem very likely.

 

Nevertheless, Minhyun had a job to do and he stuck to it. He kept up the routine for the next few years but never once made himself appear human and interact with Jonghyun. Not until Yuna passed away.

 

It happened the year Jonghyun turned 16. Yuna was the only one in the family who didn't survive the plague outbreak. Minhyun watched with sorrow as Jonghyun and his father buried Yuna's corpse in their backyard. He watched as Jonghyun set a crudely carved stone as a makeshift grave marker for Yuna. Jonghyun didn't let a single tear out as he watched his father grieve but Minhyun heard his quiet sobs and shaky breaths at night when he thought no one else could hear him.

 

The days following Yuna's death were some of the darkest days of Jonghyun's life. Minhyun followed him as he continued running errands but he had lost that spark of life in his eyes. He seemed more tired, didn't take up as many odd jobs as he did before. Jonghyun started spending more time alone, sitting by one of the rivers and staring at the water blankly for hours on end. Minhyun found himself fearing that Jonghyun would do something reckless, something dangerous.

 

Deciding that he needed to step in and do something to help cheer up and distract Jonghyun, Minhyun decided to reveal himself to the human.

 

It wasn't uncommon for guardian angels to dwell on Earth and pretend to be humans. Part of their duty was to be whatever it was that their human needed. Sometimes they needed to be a random stranger, someone to drunkenly vent to on a night when things weren't going their way. Sometimes they needed to be a friend, someone to lean on when everyone else had forsaken them.

 

Jonghyun, it seemed, needed a friend. Someone to confide in. Someone to help distract him from his pain when it became too much to handle. Someone to help take the burden that he had chained himself to.

 

Minhyun made his first 'official' contact with Jonghyun on the night of the next full moon. Jonghyun's father had long been asleep but Minhyun had watched Jonghyun toss and turn restlessly before the human decided to make his way back to his usual spot by the river. Jonghyun sat closer to the river's edge this time, letting the water skim by his bare feet as he looked up at the moon.

 

Taking the opportunity, Minhyun set his plan into action.

 

The angel closed his eyes and focused on mimicking the howling of the wolves, willing the wind to carry the sounds of distant wolves and amplifying the sound near the area. As he did so, he noticed Jonghyun had become alert at the noise and was looking around, frozen. Quickly, Minhyun hid his wings and transformed his visage to that of a human similar to Jonghyun's own age.

 

Stumbling out of the trees just a few feet away from where Jonghyun was sitting shell-shocked, Minhyun collapsed onto the ground. His angelic robes had become mud-stained, plain ones he had seen most of the people in Songdo wearing. His hair was tangled, wind-swept from his fake running and his face smeared with dirt and sweat.

 

Upon seeing Minhyun's frail looking state Jonghyun jumped to his feet and ran over to Minhyun's side, abandoning his shoes by the river. Minhyun pretended to struggle to push himself up and felt the human's small but surprisingly strong hands helping him up.

 

"Are you okay? Can you still stand?" Jonghyun's voice was hushed but urgent. He was frantically looking behind at the forest most likely fearing the wolves that would in fact never appear. Minhyun coughed, looking up at Jonghyun.

 

The human was looking down at him with such intense concern and worry that

Minhyun almost felt bad for deceiving him. He nodded weakly, slowly moving to stand on his feet without Jonghyun’s assistance. Jonghyun was standing near him, arms ready to catch him if he fell over again. But Minhyun could see his eyes darting nervously towards the direction of wolf sounds.

 

Closing his eyes, Minhyun whispered in his mind for the winds to stop and for the wolf sounds to fade. It must have seemed to Jonghyun like Minhyun was about to faint because he felt an arm wrap around his waist to steady him. Opening his eyes once again, Minhyun gave Jonghyun a small smile and let himself get guided out of the forest.

 

Jonghyun didn’t ask that many questions when he was patching up the wounds Minhyun had supposedly gotten from running wildly through the forest. It didn’t hurt him but the angel pretended to wince occasionally when Jonghyun started cleaning the little scrapes and cuts.

 

The two of them were sitting in Jonghyun’s tiny room. Minhyun watched as the human set aside the washcloth he had used to clean around his wounds and murmured a soft “Thank you,” in response. Jonghyun ran a hand through his hair, looking at Minhyun curiously. It seemed that he wanted to say something but thought better of it.

 

“You can take my bed,” Jonghyun said, standing up. Minhyun looked at him in surprise.

 

“No, I can sleep on a mat here instead. You’ve already done enough for me,” He protested. But Jonghyun wasn’t having it. Taking him gently but firmly by the wrist, he guided him over to the pile of blankets and made sure he was all settled in.

 

“You need to rest properly,” Jonghyun said softly. “You look like you haven’t slept in days.” Without letting Minhyun get another word in, Jonghyun picked up the materials he had been using and carried it out of the room before using his free hand to slide the screen door separating the tiny room from the rest of the old shack.

 

After that night, Minhyun remained with Jonghyun and his father. The father and son had questioned him about where he had come from, where his family was and why he had been out alone in the forest. Minhyun spun a long tale about how he had been abandoned by his parents and lived off the streets, how he would move from village to village by sneaking onboard unsuspecting farmers’ wagons, how he had ended up on the outskirts of the capital and had run afoul of some wolves while attempting to navigate through the forest.

 

Jonghyun had listened to his story intently and practically begged his father to let Minhyun stay with them since he clearly had no place to go. Jonghyun’s father agreed as long as Minhyun would help out with Jonghyun’s errands.

 

For the next few years, Minhyun was quite literally by Jonghyun’s side. They ran errands and odd jobs together, shared the same room, took turns watching over Jonghyun’s father when he fell sick. In this time, Minhyun began to learn more about Jonghyun. About his kind heart and selfless ways. The way he would always be willing to help someone in need even if it meant sacrificing something he shouldn’t have been giving away so easily.

 

At times, Minhyun would find it frustrating to see Jonghyun giving away some of his hard-earned money to buy some bread for the little kids begging on the streets. What little he had, he gave away when he saw someone who needed it more than him. Jonghyun’s heart put Minhyun to shame. What kind of angel was he if he berated Jonghyun for doing the right thing? For loving the people around him unconditionally?

 

Minhyun wasn’t sure when it happened. When he started noticing little things about Jonghyun. But one night, when it was just the two of them sitting by the same river they met that very first time, Jonghyun turned to him suddenly and said, “I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have you by my side,”

 

Slightly taken aback by the sudden confession, Minhyun tilted his head and gave him a questioning look. “What do you mean?” He asked quietly. He could feel a strange, unfamiliar feeling rising up inside him but tried to ignore it. Jonghyun smiled, mostly to himself.

 

“I don’t know, I feel safe around you. I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. Like you were always meant to be a part of it.” Minhyun couldn’t say that technically he _was_ meant to be a part of Jonghyun’s life (in human form or not) so he just shrugged.

 

“I’m just thankful you let me stay,” Minhyun said. Jonghyun’s beautiful smile in response stunned Minhyun. His heart was racing for the first time in centuries, probably the first time it had ever behaved this way, and he felt his face feel warm. It wasn’t the first time he had smiled at Minhyun but for some reason, the angel felt something different this time. Something he had never felt before.

 

A year later, when Minhyun finally understood what that feeling was, it was too late for him to do anything about it. Minhyun watched helplessly on the ground as a burly man stabbed a knife right at Jonghyun’s stomach before pulling it out just as quickly. Jonghyun let out a choked gasp, collapsing onto the dirt next to Minhyun as the man let go of him and snatched the bag filled with the money they had just earned.

 

Minhyun wasn’t in pain but he knew he couldn’t do anything to save Jonghyun. In times when a human’s death was set and unchangeable, guardian angels were not allowed to use their powers to interfere. In this moment, Minhyun knew that this was how Jonghyun was supposed to pass on. It was ugly and insulting to the selfless life that Jonghyun had lived and if Minhyun was able to he would have healed Jonghyun and punished the man who had inflicted so much pain on him.

 

Instead, Minhyun was trapped in his human form. Unable to use his powers, he watched as Jonghyun reached out for him with bloodied hands. “M-Min,” He gasped. Minhyun felt his throat hitch and he dragged himself over a few inches. Although he couldn’t feel it, Minhyun knew his human form wouldn’t last very long.

 

Holding Jonghyun’s hand, he collapsed next to him. “I’m sorry,” Minhyun whispered. He could feel his own blood wetting his robes and could feel how his eyes were starting to shut slowly. Jonghyun gave a pained smile, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

 

“Don’t be, ah, sorry,” He said, shutting his eyes from the pain. But Minhyun couldn’t say anything in response. Thrown out of his human form the moment his human heart stopped beating, he could only watch as Jonghyun cried when he felt Minhyun’s hand lose strength as the life supposedly left him.

 

It was painful. Minhyun had seen so many of his previously assigned humans pass away too, yet for some reason, this one hurt the most. Perhaps it was because he had developed a mild attachment to the human after spending the last few years as his closest friend and confidante. There was something else underneath it all, though. Something that the angel hadn’t wanted to address while he was still posing as a human. But now, at this moment, Minhyun couldn’t help but finally understand.

 

Minhyun had noticed it when he caught himself staring at Jonghyun unknowingly, prompting the human to ask if he had dirt or something else on his face. He noticed it in the way he had begun to dislike seeing Jonghyun laugh with some of the ladies in the market, the way he felt a rush of protectiveness overcome him when Jonghyun would get scolded for not doing his best even though Minhyun knew he had.

 

Love? Impossible. An angel couldn’t love a human. There was no future for them. It wasn’t allowed.

 

Forcing himself to turn away he fled to the heavens, leaving just before Jonghyun gave his final breath. It might be cowardly of him, but he wanted to remember Jonghyun in a better state, in happier times.

 

Minhyun would apologise when he saw Jonghyun in heaven. He would tell him how much it hurt to leave him lying on the ground, bleeding out. He would tell him how maybe he had come to love him a little bit.

 

All he had to do now was to wait. Jonghyun would be here any second now.

 

//

 

“What do you mean he was reborn?” Minhyun asked, confused. It had been a week since Jonghyun’s death and he was expecting the human to appear in his angelic form in heaven. But there was no sign of Jonghyun and when Minhyun went to check with his superior, he was told that Jonghyun had, apparently, chosen to be reborn.

 

“He’s on the list for the next cycle of rebirths,” His superior said wearily. Minhyun scoffed, wings fluttering lightly.

 

“He’s also on the list of new angels, this doesn’t make sense! Wasn’t he supposed to have been briefed on this when he crossed over?” He said, growing irritated. Minhyun didn’t want Jonghyun to be reborn again. His first life had already been bad enough and ended horribly. Jonghyun should have been here, not reliving a new life on that miserable planet. What if he was unluckier than he was before? What if he didn’t even live to adulthood? The thought angered Minhyun and he involuntarily clenched his fists.

 

“I’m following protocol, Minhyun.” His superior warned. “Know your place. I can’t explain everything, you should know better than to ask too many questions. Stick to your orders and wait for his rebirth cycle to begin. You still have a job to carry out.”

 

//

 

Hanseong.

 

It was a few hundred years or so before Minhyun saw Jonghyun again. He was relieved to see that Jonghyun was doing a little better in his new life. He was a scholar at Gyeongbok palace, a highly respected one that even the King listened to. Minhyun had joined the palace ranks just a bit before Jonghyun, taking on the guise of a fellow scholar.

 

“It’s good to meet you, Minhyun.” Jonghyun had greeted him in that soft voice that was so familiar to the angel. Minhyun had barely managed to say his greetings and felt wildly embarrassed at losing his normally composed front.

 

Just like in his previous life, Jonghyun had a big heart. He was kind, smart, humble but unafraid to voice his opinions out. It was like Minhyun was looking at a reflection or a clone of Jonghyun. Similar but not quite the same as the original. It fascinated Minhyun yet at the same time seeing this version of Jonghyun act so similar to the one he had first known tugged on something inside him.

 

Like before, Minhyun managed to integrate himself into Jonghyun’s life. It felt weird befriending someone he had known before but Minhyun had to remind himself that this wasn’t the same Jonghyun he knew.

 

But it was hard to ignore the similarities. Even if it was a different time period and a different place, his face remained the same. His heart, most importantly, remained the same. Minhyun recognised the small, familiar things that he had learned to associate with Jonghyun. Things that were essentially _Jonghyun_.

 

The way he laughed. The way the corners of his eyes would crinkle up slightly when he smiled. The way he valued moments of silence to clear his mind. Eerily enough, Minhyun would always find Jonghyun pacing by one of the palace ponds in the middle of the day.

 

“Do you believe in destiny?” Jonghyun once asked quietly when he felt Minhyun approach him.

 

“Yes,” The angel had responded honestly, his heart thumping against his chest. Jonghyun had simply hummed and nodded before resuming his pacing. They never breached the topic again but Minhyun found himself thinking about that moment, wondering what had brought that question on.

 

Minhyun experienced heartache for the first time when he saw Jonghyun holding hands with one of the prince’s serving ladies. The two were alone under one of the lake-side gazebos and Minhyun watched as Jonghyun leaned in to gently press his lips against hers. He watched with an indescribable sadness as Jonghyun whispered into her ear and looked at her with fondness that made the angel feel like his very soul was being ripped apart.

 

“What’s happening to me?” Minhyun whispered in anguish after fleeing from the scene. Never before had he felt such strong feelings towards anyone. It was looked down upon to have relations with demons, let alone humans. Right now, Minhyun was questioning whether or not he had the right to remain as Jonghyun’s guardian angel.

 

When he approached his superior regarding the matter, he had been coldly reprimanded. “I don’t know what’s been going on with you but get it together.” The older angel looked at him with disappointment. “You know the rules, you know your orders. Whatever happens between you two after he becomes an angel doesn’t matter to me but for now, keep it under control Hwang. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

 

After this, Minhyun decided to take a step away from Jonghyun. He faked an attack on his human self and disappeared from the palace. He couldn’t bear to be so close to Jonghyun now. He had resigned himself to watching him from afar, unnoticed in his angelic form. Jonghyun had been devastated by the news of Minhyun’s supposed disappearance and death. But considering they didn’t quite have the same relationship as they had had in Jonghyun’s previous life, it wasn’t surprising that Jonghyun moved on pretty quickly after that.

 

Death came for Jonghyun, this time, in the form of poison. It had been intended for the King, disguised in a seemingly innocuous cup of tea. But Jonghyun had heard about the plot long before anyone else in the palace had and switched the tampered cup with his own. _You heroic, selfless idiot._ Minhyun thought as he watched Jonghyun down the poisoned tea with no hesitation. Minhyun returned to heaven after Jonghyun began coughing up blood, a tragic result of the poison settling in. He couldn’t bring himself to watch Jonghyun die a second time.

 

Unfortunately for him, it seemed that Jonghyun was bent on making Minhyun suffer more. After this second lifetime, Jonghyun had chosen rebirth yet again. Minhyun couldn’t understand it. Was it because he had died too soon? Did he have unfinished business? Would a natural death revoke the option for rebirth?

 

//

 

Seoul.

 

In this third life, Jonghyun wasn’t anyone special. He wasn’t a revered scholar, or prince, or celebrity. He was just the typical next-door-neighbor type. He lived in a fairly modest apartment in the quiet part of the city. He’d take the train to his 9 to 5 desk job and repeated the same routine day after day for weeks on end.

 

This time, Minhyun approached Jonghyun as a fellow colleague. As one of the new hires, Minhyun had been assigned Jonghyun as a ‘buddy’ to help show him the ropes. Jonghyun, as always, welcomed Minhyun with the same warmth that the angel had grown to love about the human in his past lives.

 

Minhyun fell into a routine with Jonghyun, one that reminded him of the human’s first life. They would work and eat lunch together and on Friday nights they’d go out for drinks. Jonghyun talked to him about anything and everything. Minhyun was happy to listen to Jonghyun’s tirades about their bosses, about how cramped it was in the morning and evening commute. He listened to Jonghyun’s concerns about his parents’ health and how he wished he had more time to visit them. He listened to Jonghyun gushing about the latest movie he had seen or about anything exciting that happened to him.

 

These were the moments Minhyun cherished the most. The moments when it was just the two of them sitting somewhere at a bar or at some tiny hole in the wall restaurant away from the bustling city life. Minhyun loved the way Jonghyun looked under the lights of their favourite bar. He found it absolutely adorable, the way Jonghyun turned into a slightly bubblier, gigglier version of himself when he had one too many drinks.

 

“Minhyunnie,” Jonghyun had simpered on more than one drunken occasion. It was a name Minhyun kept close to heart.

 

The angel was starting to think that perhaps this time, Jonghyun wouldn’t see a nasty end. Jonghyun seemed happy, seemed safe. Time had changed too. Perhaps after this life, Minhyun would finally see Jonghyun in heaven where he belonged.

 

Perhaps this time, Minhyun wouldn’t have to wait.

 

//

 

“Minhyun,” Jonghyun slurred, draping an arm across the angel’s shoulders.

 

It was a Friday night but they weren’t at their usual bar. Aron, one of Jonghyun and Minhyun’s close friends, had invited them on a night out to celebrate his new promotion at one of the newer, trendier nightclubs. Minhyun was sorely out of place, stiff in his office suit that he hadn’t bothered to change out of after work. Aron and Jonghyun, on the other hand, had left their ties and suit jackets at work and looked a little more casual in comparison.

 

Jonghyun clearly drank way more than his usual amount and it concerned Minhyun because Jonghyun normally only drank this much if there was a pressing matter on his mind that he wasn’t quite ready to vocalise. Minhyun wrapped an arm around Jonghyun’s waist to steady him, nothing the way he swayed slightly as he stood.

 

“You’ve been drinking way too much tonight,” Minhyun said with a slight frown. Jonghyun giggled, letting Minhyun guide him over to one of the barstools. He pouted slightly as Minhyun removed himself from his grasp.

 

“Why do you always do this?” Jonghyun hiccuped. Minhyun gave him a confused look.

 

“What do you mean?” Jonghyun didn’t look like he enjoyed hearing this answer and crossed his arms. If the situation wasn’t so strange, Minhyun would have found the whole thing utterly adorable.

 

“Do you not like me?” Jonghyun demanded drunkenly. Minhyun felt his body freeze up the moment he heard Jonghyun’s question. The human was too inebriated and worked up to notice Minhyun’s distress and kept rambling on. “Why do you always pull away when I get too close? Why are you playing so hard to get?” Minhyun’s mind couldn’t help but bring up all the moments when Jonghyun’s gaze lingered on him for longer than necessary and in response, he’d start muttering excuses about having to take a call or go to the bathroom. He thought of the times when he caught Jonghyun looking at him with drunken want and how he had to force himself to send Jonghyun home instead of letting anything else happen.

 

Minhyun had sworn to himself, before he re-entered Jonghyun’s life once again, that he wouldn’t let the human get too close. He wouldn’t allow himself to be in a position where Jonghyun was under his skin, occupying his every thought and leaving no room for anything else. But it had happened. As it always happened.

 

“Jonghyun, listen,” Minhyun forced himself to plead, taking the human’s hands in his. Jonghyun blinked, looking at him with hazy eyes.

 

“Why are you always so sad, Minhyunnie?” Jonghyun’s next words made Minhyun’s throat close up. “You always have a sad expression on your face when you think no one’s looking. You could be happy but why do you never let yourself _go_? What’s holding you back?”

 

Minhyun’s mind was reeling. He stared at Jonghyun, unconsciously letting go of the other’s hands. Jonghyun was looking at him with curiousity, pity and, underneath it all, _want_ . Every nerve in his body was on fire and he felt himself stepping closer to Jonghyun. _What’s holding you back?_ Jonghyun’s voice echoed in his head. In his daze, Minhyun failed to notice the way Jonghyun had suddenly leaned forward, grabbing Minhyun by the collar and pulling him into a kiss.

 

The angel stood frozen. Minhyun could taste the acrid taste of alcohol and something sweet from Jonghyun’s lips and he sighed into the kiss as Jonghyun deepened it. Giving in, he closed his eyes and let Jonghyun pull him closer. He could feel the desperation and urgency in Jonghyun’s kiss and he couldn’t help but feel ecstatic knowing that this time, Jonghyun returned his feelings too.

 

But, as quickly as that realisation came to him, the warning that he had received from his superior overwhelmed him just as fast.

 

_You know the rules, you know your orders._

 

Lurching backwards, Minhyun forced himself to break the kiss. Jonghyun looked at him with a confused, hurt look and Minhyun tried to ignore the blatant _need_ simmering in his gaze. “I… No,” Minhyun choked out before turning his back on Jonghyun and disappearing into the crowd. He could hear Jonghyun calling his name, he could hear Aron’s concerned shouts behind him.

 

He didn’t look back.

 

“I can’t.” Were his only words as his superior stared him down. Both of them knew what had happened yet neither wanted to voice it out. His superior took him off Jonghyun’s case, assigned it to another guardian angel.

 

“I’m disappointed in you, Hwang.” It had been centuries since Minhyun had been called that.

 

As punishment for his actions and failure to carry out his orders and duty as a guardian angel, Minhyun had been banned from setting foot on Earth. All memories of his life on Earth, any trace of his human form in Jonghyun’s life and in the lives of those he had met were erased.

 

It was like he had never existed.

 

Because of his punishment, Minhyun couldn’t see Jonghyun. Since he was no longer assigned to Jonghyun, he wasn’t given the authority to monitor what was happening in the human’s life. It hurt, but Minhyun knew it was the cost of behaving so recklessly.

 

So selfishly.

 

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Months into years. Minhyun lost track of how long he spent in solitude. He sorted through paperwork (his new role) mindlessly day after day after day. Eternity started feeling like a curse to him.

 

Sometimes, he’d find himself thinking about Jonghyun. How was he doing now? Did he live a good life? Would he be able to see him again in heaven?

 

Would he still be the same?

 

//

 

“Minhyun? I’ve got a new assignment for you. Your punishment has been lifted.”

 

Minhyun looked up from the last form he was signing. Jisung, his current boss and friend, was smiling at him. “Huh?”

 

Jisung walked over and placed an envelope in front of Minhyun. “You’ve been assigned as a trainer. There’s a group of new angels who have just arrived, you’ve been selected as one of their trainers.”

 

New angels? Minhyun couldn’t hide the way his wings fluttered slightly in anticipation. He looked at Jisung. “Is… Is he…?” But the older angel shrugged.

 

“I don’t know.” He said honestly. Noticing the way the younger angel’s wings visibly drooped in disappointment, Jisung laid a warm hand on Minhyun’s shoulder. “Hey, just because he hasn’t shown up in this batch and in the previous batch doesn’t mean he’s not coming. He’s got a place here waiting, he’s just…”

 

“Looking for something.” Minhyun sighed. Every angel knew that a human only chose rebirth if they had unfinished business. But Minhyun just wasn’t sure what Jonghyun’s unfinished business was. From the very beginning, Minhyun couldn’t see what it was that Jonghyun was looking for. “Thanks, Jisung. I’ll do my best.”

 

As Minhyun stood with the other trainers waiting for the new angels to show up, he couldn’t help but think of Jonghyun again. _I hope you’re doing well._ He thought, staring out listlessly at the unending space in front of him.

 

“Hwang,” One of the senior angels barked out. Minhyun snapped out of his thoughts and straightened up. “They’re here.”

 

Minhyun looked and saw the crowd of nervous looking angels shuffling forwards. It was a fairly small group, he thought as he surveyed the group half-heartedly. The angel who had barked at him earlier stepped forward and cleared his throat.

 

“You’ve all been assigned a trainer following your transformation. You have their picture as well, please find your way to them.”

 

The group murmured amongst themselves quickly before dispersing. Minhyun waited patiently, looking out for any of the newbies who looked a little lost or confused. It seemed that every other trainer had one or two new angels assigned to them, he mused as he watched everyone else.

 

A soft tap on his shoulder caught his attention and he turned around. The greetings he had prepared died in his throat as he stared at the angel in front of him.

 

“Minhyunnie. It’s been a while.” Jonghyun said softly, a beautiful smile on his face. Minhyun swallowed, blinking back the tears that had begun to spring up at the corners of his eyes.

 

“J-Jonghyun. You’re here.” He choked out. Jonghyun nodded, a slightly regretful expression on his face.

 

“I’m sorry I took so long.” They stared at each other in silence. It was as if time had slowed down. Minhyun couldn't bring himself to speak just yeat and only barely managed to motion for Jonghyun to follow him to a more quiet place.

 

They walked in silence, a comfortable silence they were both familiar with. Eventually, they came to a stop at one of the many gardens. They both had so many things they wanted to say. They could feel it in the air. So many unanswered questions. So many regrets.

 

Finally, after gathering his thoughts and regaining his composure, Minhyun asked Jonghyun, “Why did you choose rebirth? What were you searching for?”

 

Jonghyun laughed and linked their fingers together as they sat by the shimmering golden lake. “In that first life, the first time I met you, I told the angels I was looking for someone. Someone who had shown up in my life when I felt the loneliest. I told them I wanted to find him again in the next life, to repay him. They warned me, of course. They warned me that things would be different. There was a chance I would be able to meet you again. There was also the chance I wouldn’t. They tried to stop me but I told them again and again that I wanted to find that man. So they let me. Of course I didn’t remember anything from my old life. But I kept choosing rebirth, hoping to find him. Hoping to find _you_.” He looked at Minhyun with apologetic eyes. “In my last life… I wasn’t a good man. I felt lost. I felt like a part of me was missing. It was after you disappeared, after that night. Even if I couldn’t remember, a part of me knew something was missing in my life.”

 

Minhyun felt his cheeks heat up at the memory but said nothing.

 

“When I passed on, I finally listened to what the angels had been trying to tell me from day one. They said that I had a place in heaven. That I could stop this cycle of rebirth and just live the rest of my life in peace. That the person I was looking for had been waiting for me.” Jonghyun squeezed Minhyun’s hand gently.

 

“I’m sorry you waited so long, Minhyun. I’m sorry I put you through all that pain.” He looked at Minhyun with tears in his eyes. Minhyun shook his head.

 

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who should be sorry.” He said regretfully. “I’ve failed as your guardian angel. I was supposed to be with you until you got here.”

 

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Jonghyun said softly. He leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Minhyun’s cheek. “I guess heaven gave us a second chance.”

 

“Yeah,” Minhyun couldn’t fight the smile that had started forming on his face.

 

“I guess they did.”

  
  


 

 

 

(“I figured it out,” Minhyun said one day.

 

“Figured what out?” Jonghyun asked.

 

“I figured out why heaven chose you.”

 

“Why?”

 

Minhyun grinned.

 

“To make me happy.”)

**Author's Note:**

> cheesy ending is cheesy but i hope you enjoyed!!


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